


Monster Lover

by smallpersiankitten



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Kidnapping, Magic rules, Sleeping Beauty - Freeform, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-01-05 18:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12195630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallpersiankitten/pseuds/smallpersiankitten
Summary: You just had to take the perfect shot to impress your crush! He just loved girls in nature!In which a nap in a grove turns into more than a photo shoot when you attract a certain Monster's attention.Heavily inspired by Piers Anthony's "Zombie Lover".





	1. Be Careful Where You Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> This piece is heavily inspired by Piers Anthony's "Zombie Lover." If you haven't read any of his books about the world of Xanth, I really suggest you do. They're delightful and witty and probably some of the first few books I read that legitimately got me into adult literature (Classic literature doesn't count). 
> 
> This isn't technically part of the Must Love Animals Universe so you could read this without reading those stories. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

You couldn’t believe how exhausted you were as you continued to hike in the forest. It was really pretty, you had to admit and you had plenty of time to admire it as you took many stops to catch your breath. You probably would have been more rested had you not stayed up super late chatting with your crush. 

You hadn’t planned on it but the minute he asked you if you were free for a video chat later this evening, you just couldn’t say no. As soon as you got home, you had spent your entire evening with your head in the girly magazine you had stolen from work. You highlighted and circled all the beauty and seduction tips. And then spent the last 45 minutes before the call putting on extensive make up but at the same time trying to make it look as natural as possible to get that “just woke up look.” At 8:30 at night. 

He was impressed or at least he said he was after being 15 minutes late to the video call. But hey! It’s the thought that counts. You flirted and he flirted back and by the time you were making plans to meet up again, it was nearly 1am. One of the last things he did say was how much he enjoyed girls taking photos in nature. 

Hence why you were here. In the forest. He invited you to a get together with some friends in the woods and what perfect way to surprise him than to take a forest photo of your own. Or at least a better one than Brittany. 

She had posted one of her sitting on a tree, her hair braided finely into a handmade necklace of daisies and lilacs as she looked out at the rising sun. She was just so fucking perfect and even though you were straight, you couldn't help but feel a slight girl boner for her. Even after she hashtagged it with #soblessed. 

Your crush had not only liked it, but wrote “You're so cute! Can't wait to see you 2nite!” Argh! You know you were being ridiculous and it was probably due to the fact that you were about to start your period. Damn you hormones for making you so emotional. Why did you wear a skirt?!

You were getting sidetracked. You only had a few hours left before the party at the cottages and you couldn't risk showing up without having posted one nature photo of you. You scouted for the perfect spot. 

You really didn't want to climb a tree. It would look like you had copied her. Plus you didn't want to get sap in your clothes. You walked past a particular opening only to stop and double back. “Woah.”

You almost didn't see it at first as the low hanging willow leaves acted as almost a veil to the small opening before you. You gently pushed it aside to enter. Moss covered rocks surrounded by a collection of brightly colored wildflowers existed before you. It was rather quiet as you wandered inside, the only other sound was the crunch of wood as you stepped on a broken, weathered sign. 

You pulled out your phone and broke out into a smile. There was just the right amount of natural light filtered by the leaves, to set you up for a perfect shot. You spotted a rock large enough to be a bed that was covered in thick moss. 

“Maybe I could go for a like sleeping beauty motif thing here,” you contemplated. You climbed onto the rock and lied down, expecting the surface to not look as soft as it appeared. 

To your surprise, it was. “Oh, this, this isn't actually too bad.” You settled in before pulling out your phone. Right. Photo time. You posed and smiled as sweetly as you could before snapping a bajillion photos. You flipped through them deleting almost all of them until you found a few that were the closest to what you wanted. Looking innocent and naughty at the same time? Yeah, that was kind of physically impossible. 

Not that you weren't a little bit of both. Sure you had taken dicks and gone down on more than a couple of them but you hadn't taken any up the butt so did that make you slightly innocent still? Yes? No? Fuck it, you were so going to get a better photo than Brittany if it was the last thing you did. 

Finally, a lucky photo was snapped and you were soon choosing a filter for it. You paused on one that looked like it put a colorful crown of flowers on your head and quickly tapped it. Well, well, look at you. You were starting to look like quite the forest princess there. Your eyes lit up and darted to the little description box. Yes. Forest princess had a nice ring to it. You tapped eagerly on your phone’s keyboard, fitting the caption “Forest Princess” just underneath your shot before posting it online. 

You waited, constantly tapping the refresh button. You went to hit it for the 27th time when you stopped. He had liked your photo. Your crush had liked your photo You let out a muted squeal and scrolled down. He left a comment! A comment. 

“You’re so beautiful! Tonight can’t come fast enough. <3”

You unmuted your squeal and kicked your legs in the air girlishly. “Ahhh!!! He said I’m beautiful! He put a heart next to it!” You clutched your phone to your chest. “This, this is the best day ever!” It felt like you were in high school all over again with butterflies in your chest and your voice jumping an octave or two into unintelligible jumble.

You felt yourself grow sleepy as the excitement began to ebb over you. You had a few hours before the party. It wouldn’t do you any good to stay up and get there early only to pass out. Maybe a tiny nap here wouldn’t hurt. No one said there were bears in this part of the forest. And you were pretty secluded so you doubted anyone would jack your shit. You snuggled into your mossy bess and felt yourself drifting off to sleep to the sounds of the birds and nature.

~~~~~~

You awoke to the feeling of suffocation, sending you into an immediate panic. You resisted the impulse to flail as you woke up fully. You opened your eyes only for them to widen in surprise. Something was on top of you, pressing you against your makeshift bed. Oh my God. Was a bear trying to eat your face?! The absence of pain and the prolonged pressure against your lips clued you on to the fact that you weren’t being eaten. You were being kissed. 

Who was kissing you? And why weren’t you stopping them? Maybe, it was a kinda nice kiss, maybe not as soft as you liked but for teeth, you really couldn’t complain...hold up, teeth? What in God’s name were you kissing? The realization that it was something inhuman propelled you to act. Your hands quickly shot out and pushed your “attacker” off of you. 

You sat up and quickly felt yourself over. Your clothes were still on. Good. You turned your attention to the intruder. “Hey, buddy, what the fu-fuck…?” Your words died in your throat as you stared at the figure in front of you. 

The first image that came to mind was a prince. A prince in shiny armor. Of course, the image was shattered the second you realized that the prince was nearly 8ft tall. And he had no skin. You probably should have stated that second fact first. It just seemed the more disconcerting of the two. Holy shit, it was a skeleton.

The skeleton cleared its throat and attempted to speak. 

“WHAT ARE YOU?” You beat him to it.

The skeleton stopped and grinned. How did a skull grin? “I’m a skeleton.”

“No shit,” you gasped. “Why were you kissing me?” 

“Oh!” The skeleton appeared to blush. How did he do that? “Well, I figured that would be the best way to wake up my future bride!” 

“You don’t wake up total strangers with-BRIDE?” You croaked. 

He nodded. “Well, yes, I must admit, I was really worried when I came here that I was going to find some really frumpy looking Monster but this is a pleasant surprise indeed. Even though you are human.” 

“I-uh, what? What’s wrong with me being human?” You asked. 

“Oh! Nothing. Well, not to me. Maybe to others that could be a problem! But definitely not to me! I just don’t meet many humans, much less a member of royalty!”

“A member of royalty?” You echoed.

“I assumed being a princess meant you were royalty?”

“I-what makes you say that?”

He nodded and pulled out a cellphone. “This is your royal portrait, yes?”

You looked at the phone. “Is that my cell phone?! Give me that!” You snatched the phone from his grasp and stared down at the picture. It was the photo you had taken for your crush. Now shared over several different mediums. The words “Forest Princess” taunted you back as the skeleton continued.

“Yes, your majesty. Your followers really love you. You have at least 500 likes.” 

“500? Did you say 500 likes?” You echoed disbelievingly, scrolling down. “I’ve never gotten that many likes before,” you muttered. 

“You are quite popular. I don’t see your crown anymore. Is it made of magic?” Your picture had spread like wildfire. There were people you didn’t even know commenting from everything to compliments to phone numbers to links to their own pages. And the number was continuously growing. You shook your head. Focus. 

“Hold up, no, no. I’m not...There must be a mistake. You must have me confused for someone else.”

“You were sleeping here in the Grove of Love, weren’t you?”

“Well, uh yeah, just to take a nap.” 

“So you understand.”

“Understand what? What are you talking about?” 

“Didn’t you read the sign?” 

“Sign?” 

“Hmm. Let me see if I can-there it is! It must have fallen off the entrance.” The skeleton realized, reaching down and freeing the wooden sign you had stepped on earlier. He cleared his throat (again, how) and read outloud: “When a woman wants to marry, she sleeps in the Grove of Love. Only a being of good appearance, character and breeding can enter. If he chooses her, he kisses her awake.” He chuckled.

Your eyes widened. “Marry?” You quickly stood up and ran your fingers through your hair. “This-this was a huge mistake. I didn’t see the sign! I was just taking a nap!”

“Oh. Well, live and learn, I suppose. Now come along. We have a lot of planning to do.” 

“No! I can’t marry you!” You tried to slide toward the exit only for him to step in your path. 

“I will marry you and make you Queen of the Monsters.” 

“Queen of what?” 

“Monsters. What I am.”

“I thought you were a skeleton,” you couldn’t help but add. 

“Well, yes, but a skeleton is a type of Monster.”

“I’m confused,” you admitted. 

“Don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of time to learn all about our customs on our honeymoon,” he assured you, attempting to place an arm around you. 

You dodged that fucker like a snake. “No. There won’t be a honeymoon! Because we’re not getting married!”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that. Once you have decided to let someone marry you, you can’t just back out of it. That’s very rude.” 

“I didn’t decide to marry anyone! You forced yourself on me!” 

“A peck on the lips isn’t forcing myself on you.” 

“It is when they’re unconscious!” 

“I-ah, I suppose you’re right. I’m still getting the hang of this true love kiss thing. Here let me try again.” Before you could react, he pulled you into another kiss. And this time it was smoldering, not smothering. You felt your knees grow weak and you unconsciously clutched his shoulder to steady yourself as you saw fireworks. By the time he pulled away, you were practically dazed. 

“Woah.”

“I was hoping to hear that. Now come along.” He swooped you up bridal style and walked gingerly out of the grove and into the forest. 

You blinked. “Wait, I don’t-we can’t just plan a wedding like that!”

“Sure we can. I have lots of hardworking subjects!” 

“What would my parents say?” 

“They can come too!”

You were running out of immediate arguments. “I don’t even know your name!” 

“Wow, how awkward. I really should introduce myself before I start passionately smooching beautiful women. I am the Great Papyrus, King of the Monsters!” He nuzzled the side of your neck. “We are going to have quite the adventure!”

No doubt about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit as of 11/27/17: This is going to be the Christmas story so expect future chapters in December.


	2. Keep Your Eyes to Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is here. Expect a couple more chapters by the end of the year. :)

“I present to you, your new Queen of Monsterkind!” 

The curtain was pulled aside and there you stood, staring in wide eye shock at the horde of Monsters staring back at you. Things with horns and slime and sharp teeth and eight eyes and no eyes all focused on you. You couldn’t help but tremble as the sound of whispers and snarls broke loose from the crowd. 

“A human. He’s chosen a human.”

“A tasty human.” 

You gasped and stepped back, only for your foot to catch on the hem of your elegant gown. You fell to the ground. The delicate crown you wore clattered to the ground next to you, cracking with the impact against the stone floor. You tried to scoot away as the Monsters drew on you, their intent clearly visible in the way they glared at you. 

“I wonder if we can use her bones to pick our teeth.” 

“Help!” You cried out as claws grabbed and tore at the edge of your dress. Where the fuck was your husband? What’s his name? “Papyrus! Help!” 

“Hold her down!” 

You shrieked as Monsters quickly overtook you, pinning you down. “Papyrus! Papyrus! Help! Help!” Legitimate pain shot through your stomach as claws and teeth threatened to rend and tear to bits.

“Wake her up!” 

“Help!” 

“Wake up!” 

“Papyrus!”

“WAKE UP!” 

You woke up with a shriek, clutching your blanket fearfully. Your head jerked around in a blind panic before you realized that you were not being mobbed by Monsters. You relaxed your grip. “Oh my God, oh my God. It’s just a dream,” you sighed.

“Yes! Just a dream! Do not fear, you’re with the Great Papyrus!” Your head snapped up to see the King of Monsters towering above you, still carrying you from earlier. 

You screamed even louder. 

Papyrus appeared unfazed by your shrieks and stuck out his chest proudly. “Your shrieks of joy are thanks enough for my protection and devotion, my dear bride!”

“This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening!” You choked. 

“I know, I can hardly believe it myself!” 

You realized your blanket was his cape and you pushed it off as if it were a snake, wincing as you did. You must have fallen asleep. To say you were shocked and still emotionally rocking by the events leading up to this point was an understatement. Even your abdomen still hurt and that was due to a fucking dream. You worriedly looked around, not recognizing any of your surroundings. “Where am I?”

“We’re on the outskirts of my kingdom,” the king informed you helpfully.

You blanched. “Your-your kingdom?” Oh my God. How long had you been asleep? “What time is it?” You wondered, noting the sun already setting. 

To your surprise, the King of Monsters pulled out a cellphone. Your cellphone to be exact. “It’s 7:43PM.” 

“7:43? As in, after 7?” You echoed, realization slowly dawning on you. 

“Yes. That’s how time works. Do they not have time like that in your country?” He asked curiously. 

The party. The party was going to start in less than 30 minutes. And here you were, getting kidnapped for some twisted arranged marriage with a Monster instead of reapplying your cherry smacktastic lip gloss. “Wait!” You exclaimed, flailing slightly. “I’m meeting someone at 8!” You announced. 

“Oh! It wouldn’t happen to be one of those humans staying in the cottages by the grove, would it?” 

You stifled a gasp. “How did you know about them?”

“I could hear them for miles!” The king exclaimed, “I was absolutely sure they were going to get some noise complaints if they kept it up so I decided to pay them a visit.”

Pay them a visit? Your eyes widened. Oh my God. Did he hurt them? “What did you do with them?” 

“Who?” He seemed perplexed, “Oh, your subjects?”

“My what?” You asked.

“Your subjects.” He paused.

“They’re not my…” Your voice died in your throat. Shit. He thought you were a legitimate princess. How would he react if he found out you weren’t? He seemed awfully proud and the last thing you needed him was stranding you out here in Monster territory after figuring out you were just a normal human. You nodded slowly. “Yes, my, uh, subjects. Did you hurt them?”

Papyrus stopped dead in his tracks. “Did I what?” 

“Did you hurt any of them?” 

He shook his head. “No, what? No! I just asked that they keep it down after 10pm.” He threw back his skull and laughed, “Nyeh heh heh, I’m sure we would be able to hear them from my kingdom if they kept it up.” 

Your ears perked up. “Your kingdom? Is your kingdom close to the cottages?” 

“A few miles perhaps.” 

You resisted the urge to squeal. A few miles? That’s, well, that’s more than what you normally could do, but still! At least it wasn’t a few hundred miles! There was a good chance that if you booked it now, you would only be an hour or two late to the party. Granted, no one would believe that a skeleton in armor had abducted you, but you could easily blame your parents had asked you stop by and do some chores and no one would be the wiser! 

You realized he had resumed walking. “Wait! I still need to go meet them,” you argued. 

“Ah, well, perhaps once we reach the castle, we can send an envoy with an apology and an invitation to our wedding!” Papyrus cheered.

Shit. New plan. You needed to get away from the skeleton before you actually ended up in Monster territory. “Wait! Wait! I have to go to the bathroom.” 

Papyrus slowed down somewhat. “Eh, well, we’re not that far,” he tried to press. 

You shook your head. “I really have to go to the bathroom! I might just pee now.” 

You nearly lost your balance with how quickly your feet met the ground. Papyrus steadied you before taking a step back. “Okay, uh, please do your business. But fast.” 

“You’re seriously telling me to hurry up and pee?” You asked, your hand over your heart dramatically, “What type of King are you?” 

The Monster King appeared flustered, his arms out and his cheekbones turning nearly tangerine from embarrassment. “No! No! I certainly didn’t mean it like that! Please, take all the time you need.” You waited for him to move but he didn’t.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

He hesitated. “....Yes?” 

You feigned even more outrage. “You’re just going to stand there and watch me pee?

His sockets widened. “I mean, that’s not-what if you get lost?” 

“I cannot believe you!” You raised your voice. “My husband to be is a pervert!” 

“What?!” Papyrus shrieked. He immediately checked his surroundings, still thankfully finding you two alone. “Please don’t shout, that’s not what I meant,” he tried to placate you. 

You upped the volume instead. “Standing around, watching young women have to use the restroom in the wild. What type of sick pervert are you?” You demanded. 

Papyrus’ jaw opened and shut but no sound came out. It was a tense few seconds before he finally turned around and walked up to a tree. He cleared his throat. “I’m just going to stand here and when you’re done, I’ll come collect you.”

It was so hard for you to keep a straight face and you surely would have broken if the Monster had been facing you. “So-so you’re just going to stand there and listen to me pee?”

You could see him exhale shakily for a few seconds before he raised his gloved hands to cover where his ears would be. “I’m, just going to stand here. And when you are done, come tap me on the shoulder and we will continue to my castle.” 

“Got it!” You yelled. When he didn’t respond, you let out a low whistle. Ignoring the growing discomfort in your gut, you immediately took off. You weren’t quite sure what direction you were going in, but if it was the opposite of where you were, that was a start. Only after a few minutes of full on running did you risk slowing down and glancing behind. 

No sign of the King. You scratched your head. “Shit, he’s really not following me.” You continued to walk, albeit a bit slower. You didn’t meet many people who were that trusting. And here you were, abusing that trust. You didn’t feel very good. “C’mon, you really can’t be getting upset that you’re ditching him,” you told yourself, “What type of weirdo kisses sleeping women and tries to marry them without even introducing themselves?”

You managed a few more steps before you had to lean against the nearest tree. Your stomach was really giving you a guilt trip. “And what if I was underrage? That would make him a pedophile!” You argued. 

“you are acting kind of childish,” a deep voice observed. 

“Nobody asked you!” You spat. You took one step forward but realized that your monologuing had gained an audience. You turned around and stared into a pair of hollow sockets. You shrieked, turned around and ran smack into a low hanging branch hard enough to see your vision turn to stars. 

You must have briefly lost consciousness because, as you came to, you could hear not only one, but two voices. “I cannot believe you would creep on her like this!” Someone was shouting. 

“can’t help it. as a skeleton, i just can’t help but get under peoples’ skin.”

You tried to sit up, a dismal hope that mabye you could escape amongst the confusion. A sharp piercing pain in your abdomen made you cry out instead. In an instant, hands were upon you. “Dear, are you hurt? Did he wound you with his bad humor?” Was that the King?

“maybe she just can’t handle some pun-ishment.” You still didn’t ‘know who that was. You needed to get up and keep going. You tried to push off the ground but shuddered instead.

You clenched your fists painfully. “It hurts, it hurts so much,” you gasped. Despite how foggy your mind was, it was starting to clue into you that this pain was a familiar one. One that you would normally take ibuprofen for on a month to month basis.

“Hold on tight, my bride, I’ll take you to the doctor.” 

“bride?”

You could feel strong, warm arms attempting to lift your shivering frame up. You felt yourself drawn to the warmth and you clung to it with a whimper.

“did you say bride?” 

“Not now, brother! Just-just-what is this on my gloves?” 

“that’s blood. she’s bleeding.” 

“Why is she bleeding? What did you do?” 

“nuthin.”

“Where is she bleeding from?” 

“i don’t know. just when you find it, apply pressure.” 

“Found it!” You felt something pressing up against your very sensitive sex and you squeaked in alarm, finding yourself even more sensitive than normal. You tried to push the intruder off but it pressed into you even rougher, stimulating you further and cluing you in to why you were bleeding. You had started your period. You gasped and moaned against the pressure still with stomach and back pain. 

“Ah. Ah,” you groaned. 

The other sockets returned in your field of view. “wrap her up, we gotta go before it gets worse.”

“I don’t want, I don’t want,” you weakly protested as your cramping became worse. The cape you had repulsed was now enveloping you once more like a cocoon as the King carried you back from whence you fled. 

His skull came into view. You're not sure how a skull could look sympathetic but he was doing a really good job of it. He hugged your shivering body to him. “It’s okay, you’re safe now. I shall bring you to the finest Monster doctor we have available. No, no, please keep your hands down. There is no need to thank the talented and amazing, Great Papyrus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Menstruation is no joke. Ouch ouch ouch.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this. I was planning on just leaving this as a one shot but if enough of you want, I could continue it.
> 
> Edit as of 11/15/17- this is going to be the Christmas story. Expect more updates starting December.


End file.
